It is so easy to find fault in the “other” person, isn’t it? Whether it is a customer, friend, driver, extended family member, spouse or children. Yup. It’s always about “them”, right?
“I’ve done all I can do,” we say. “I didn’t do anything.” “I just told them the truth.” “They just need to accept me for who I am. That’s just me.” “There is just nothing more to be done or said. I don’t need them. This relationship is over.” Are you hearing yourself?!
Many times we turn and don’t look back, even if it is a family member. Concerning a client, it is a lot easier to walk away and just chalk it up to a bad day. With family members, the pain runs deeper and we will still have to run into them at family events. Without forgiveness, we are stuck in a time frame of “they said/I said.”
How easy is it for you to accept criticism? Can you readily admit to offending someone or making a mistake, or do you just get defensive and try to justify it?
What if the other person tells you how your words or actions made them feel? Can you admit your wrongdoing and ask for forgiveness? Hmmmmm.
Many times, we have been raised in a critical or perfectionist home, so we can’t accept we are wrong and will do almost anything to keep from being blamed. This can create big blind spots in our relationships, but we still can blame the other person. Think for a moment where you stand in this. Honestly.
First question: Is this offense worth ending a relationship, or is it worth it to work it out together? Were you critical of someone? Did they feel betrayed or abandoned by you? Did you put them down, even though you thought you were “helping” them?
Think of the people you are out of fellowship with, whether it was recent or from many years ago. Where might you have a blind spot in your own behavior and what can you attempt to do to make it right?
“Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what us right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Romans. 12:17-18
This Tuesday, May 17, our guest on Chained No More Talk Radio is author Georgia Shaffer. She is a founding member of the American Association of Christian Counselors, a professional psychologist and life coach. She will be talking about “The Blind Spots In Our Relationships.” Are you struggling in one or more of your relationships and need answers? Tune in at 2pm ET at www.toginet.com to find practical answers and better understanding of the issues you may be challenged by.
Maybe today is the day to take off those blindfolds and see the blind spots that may have kept you from enjoying healthy relationships.