The Divorce Battle-No Winners

kids and divorce

I don’t know about you, but this pictures hurts my heart on many levels.  The mom and dad are yelling at each other with great anger in their eyes and gestures, while the boy is devastated sitting in this battle that could shatter his life.

How did this couple get to this place after making a covenant to stay with each other, “for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, for as long as we both shall live.”  How did that day of joy and peace turn into hatred and war?  It takes two to build a marriage and two to destroy it.

This child is being shown just how much vows really mean, what love really means and what marriage looks like as he sits in the middle once again.  How devastating for him!

There are millions of children who live the very same thing day after day and chances are pretty good their parents lived the same thing in their childhood as well.  Heck, there are even “comedy” shows on tv. that almost glorify divorce.  Are you kidding?!  It is not  funny, comical, or something to kid about, and it devastates and scars lives beyond words.  STOP!!!

What are we doing to our society and how did God’s creation and His design of marriage get so distorted?  What was meant for glorious fulfillment and joy has turned into destruction, violence and hatred.  My heart hurts for families, but there are answers and practical tools to help marriage thrive, grow and be fulfilling, even though there  have been some “dips” in the marriage.

The first step is that BOTH husband and wife need to admit there are issues that are damaging their marriage and children and  make a new commitment to do what it takes to work through the issues one at a time.  If there needs to be professional counseling to help, both would need to agree, be willing to “do the work to make it work”,  go consistently, stop the battle and work together, for the sake of their kids and themselves.  If faith is a part of their marriage,  both need to humble themselves before God, follow Him with every step, and letting Him heal their marriage and famly.

Our guest on Chained No More Talk Radio this week is Helen Wheeler, LPC, and her topic will be “The Divorce Battle: Family Issues.  She is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Family Court Mediator and Parent Coordinator, working with high conflict couples.  She will be discussing the many family issues that arise during a divorce battle and beyond.  Don’t miss it if you are living through a divorce, have lived through it, or know those who are.  We will all learn a lot.

“Be Imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children, and live a life of love just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”  Eph. 5:1,2

Are you and your spouse being imitators of Christ?  Be honest.  What needs to change, for the sake of your hurting children and your marriage?    It is amazing how our relationships change when WE change.  “Do the work to make it work.”  Look into your kids’ eyes and ask yourself “how can we protect these children and make our home one that helps them thrive, grow and live joyfully?”