Same Old, Same Old

We all get in ruts…those deep-rooted words and actions that we can’t seem to get out of.  Maybe it is the same way we do our hair for decades, or the same thing we eat every single morning, or never rearranging our furniture or….

What about the ruts we fall into in our marriage relationships?  After years and years of the same patterns of communicating or arguing, it can seem impossible to change these patterns.  One gets upset and the other one escalates it by arguing or putting them down.  One calls another a name and the fight is on…until one of them begins to cry or turn and slam the door behind themselves.

Definition – RUT: “A furrow or track worn into a surface, as by the passage of wheels;  a habitual or stereo-typed pattern of behavior.”

“A furrow or track worn into a surface”…These ruts begin with one little mark or cut.  Just like in our marriages or relationships, at first something doesn’t seem so bad, even if it hurts a little.  We let it go time after time and before we know it, a rut has been worn into the surface of our relationship.  A curse word, a putdown, a “little white lie”, a sarcastic remark, etc. are things that seem innocent at first, but the rut gets deeper and deeper.  Before we know it, our relationship can become defined by anger, bitterness, sadness and giving up.

What is my point?  Look at your significant relationship and see where the “ruts” are and where they cut deep.  What patterns can you change as a couple and what are you going to do about it individually?  You, in fact, will not answer for your spouse when you stand at the Throne.  Actually, you will not stand together before the Lord.  You will stand alone. So will he/she.

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.  The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly…The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.”  Proverbs 15

Starting today, don’t let the “same old, same old” patterns continue if they are not positive and supportive/encouraging.  Begin to make new patterns and let THEM put deep grooves in  your relationships.  It’s a new day!!