Power of the Chain – Family Patterns and Their Effects


Have you ever found yourself sounding like your mom or your dad?  How about looking in the mirror and seeing a disturbing resemblance to someone in your family?  Maybe, in an argument with someone, they spewed out, “You are acting just…like…your…dad?”

The way we butter our bread, make our beds, cook, whistle when we work, yell at the dog, or any number of other actions can show a family pattern.  Holiday traditions, religious practices, brands of cars, or favorite recipes can show family patterns as well.  Deeper issues include ways of discipline, confrontation and conflict resolution, cussing, belittling, sarcastic humor, neglect, etc.  Digging deep can uncover childhood patterns your parents brought into raising you.  Do you see how long the chains can be?  Generations.

Family patterns can be positive and give us a feeling of belonging or can be quite negative and give us a feeling of helplessness or distaste.  We may get angry at ourselves because we see that we are “just…like…your…dad/mom”.  We may also may feel proud when someone tells us, “I see that you are a hard worker just…like… your…dad/mom.”

The same is true about the pattern of divorce in our families.  This is the third generation of heavy divorce in our country and your family may have a number of divorces going back many years.  This may also be said of abuse patterns in families.  It is important within this “Chained No More” journey to look back and see where your current attitudes and issues may have come from so you can see the power they have had on you.

It is important to evaluate where your attitudes, beliefs, actions and feelings come from.  Again, this is not meant to blame or disrespect your parents, but it is an effective tool to understand the issues you have in your life and how they may relate back to your childhood.  Your parents had or have their own issues that they can explore.  For you, today, dig deep and explore.  It may just open the door to healing for you!  You may find that after all this time, all of the hurt was not your fault at all.  How freeing would that be?!

“Open my eyes that I may see glimpses of truth Thou hast for me…”