foot in mouth

Oh, you know what I mean, right?  Something comes out of our mouth before we think and we regret it immediately.  Maybe we are using sarcastic humor, but we can tell by their reaction, that it didn’t go over well.  Maybe we tell an off-color joke and regret it as soon as we say the punch line.  Maybe we gossip to someone and then are mad at ourselves for doing it.  The list could go on and on.

Studies show that women speak more than 13,000 more words than men do.  I saw something on Facebook that quipped, “That’s because women have to repeat everything at least twice!”  True or not, most of us talk a lot and many times, we speak before we think.  I know I do that often, but am trying to control it more.  I have always said that my husband, Ivan doesn’t talk a lot, but he sure says a lot.  I love that about him!  I guess you can  imagine who does more talking in our marriage, huh?

One of the most difficult things for most of us is knowing what to say when someone’s loved one dies or there is a deep loss of another kind.  Oh, we Christians have tons of Bible verses to pull out and say.  “All things are possible for them who love God.”  “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”  Here is the big one….”And we know that all things work together for good for them who love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose.”  When someone has lost the love of their life or a child, the last thing they want is for us to quote Scripture.  We say these scriptures with a good heart and purpose, but what people need in the depth of their grief is silence, hugs, a listening ear, serving hands and warm and comforting love.


This Tuesday, my Chained No More Talk Show guest will be David Knapp, who wrote the amazing book called, “I Didn’t Know What To Say…Being a Better Friend to Those Who Experience Loss.”  He will tell his story of great losses and since he has the heart of a teacher, he will discuss the do’s and don’ts of walking with someone who is grieving.  With the holidays upon us, this broadcast can be very helpful for all of us.  Tune in at 2pm ET at   You may also download the podcast later that day at  We can all learn to do this better, right?


“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.”  2 Cor. 1:4  


This holiday season, let’s pause and think before speaking, listen more than we talk and hopefully enjoy better and richer conversations with those we gather with.  Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family from Robyn B Ministries.

A wonderful gift for someone you know who is grieving is the CD, “Through the Rain…Crisis To Hope”.  These are songs I have written for the hurting people I have ministered to and it will soothe the soul of those listeners who have grieving hearts.  You can listen to samples and purchase it at