Fix It or Throw It Away


The other day, I saw a couple of things that were broken and were still sitting in our house.  There was an old boombox that has seen better days and now sounded like a warbled groan of sound when turned on.  There was an old massager that was hidden in the back of cupboard.  “Why do we still have this when it doesn’t even work?”, I asked myself.

Some things we keep for sentimental reasons, even if they don’t work properly.  I know people who have a couple of cars in their yards, even, that haven’t worked or been driven for decades, yet they still stay firmly placed behind a tree or in an old garage.

The show, “Hoarders: Buried Alive” is a show about people who got stuck, were now buried in belongings, and yet add more day by day. I can watch that show until there are bugs and varments involved.  Yuck!

When something stops working or show signs of wearing out, we have a choice whether to throw it away or keep it and repair it.  We weigh these options usually based on how much it would cost to repair it, or whether it is valuable enough to keep.  Sometimes, it is better to just toss it and buy another one.  No biggy.  Sometimes, we may try to fix it ourselves and keep using it, or with a bigger item, such as a refrigerator, we will call the repairman and let them fix it.  Choices.

The same goes for marriage…we may see signs or our relationship wearing out after years of “just putting up” with the issues.  Maybe there was a big betrayal or other issues of trust that were broken and we just want to give up and start over.

My husband, Ivan and I have been married for almost 42 years (we can’t believe it!) and we have had challenges and struggles, as well as a lot of joy along the way.  When the tense times begin, we had vowed not to argue when we were upset, but wait until we could talk civilly and not hurt one another.  Neither of us would intentionally hurt the other, no matter how angry we were.  We value our relationship more than the need to be right and “win” an argument.  (Hint:  When you are working so hard to win an argument, you are working hard to make your spouse the loser. Get it? Hmmmm)

We said vows to our God first and we answer to Him first, before we answer to our spouse.  I will answer to Him ONLY for what I say and do and so does my Ivan.  After the Lord God, we are each other’s highest priority.  That, my friends, is the reason for our loving and caring relationship for almost 42 years.  It’s not magic; we just choose to fix what is wrong instead of throwing our marriage away.

This Tuesday, our guest on Chained No More Talk Radio is Steve Grissom, the CEO of Church Initiative (DivorceCare, DC4K, GriefShare).  He will be talking about “The Gray Divorce.”  Couples 50 years old and up are the fastest growing demographic of divorce in our country today.  He will share the whys, the effects on family, financial issues, and will also share about their new e-book, “The Gray Divorce.”  You can hear this important interview on Dec. 29 at 2pm ET at  Later that day, you can download the podcast at

If you have been married for over 25 years, look at your marriage relationship and ask yourself, “Is it time for a tuneup?  Are we willing to try and fix it?”  Remember your vows and Who you answer to for those vows.  It is worth the pause.