Have you ever been accused of doing something you had nothing to do with? “Well, of all the nerve! I didn’t do that. It’s not my fault!”
Maybe you have taken responsibility for someone else’s behavior or it could be someone blamed you for something THEY did.
- “If you hadn’t made me so mad, I wouldn’t have hit you.”
- “If you had only apologized to them, they would not have spread that gossip about you.”
- “If you had just cleaned your room like I told you to, your dad and I would not have argued. Now he is threatening to divorce me. Thanks a lot, Son!”
- “If you had covered for me being late to work, I wouldn’t have lost my job!”
You may have heard some or all of these words, but the truth is, we are each responsible for our own actions. Maybe you grew up in a home where blame was the norm, so you have now grown into someone who shrinks back from confrontation and takes the blame for far more than you should.
When I led Divorce Care For Kids (DC4K), one of the most healing moments was when we had the children shout at the top of their lungs, “IT’S NOT MY FAULT!” It would bring tears to my eyes as I saw them realize this truth. The devastating loss of their parents’ divorce was not about them, but about two adults who were unable to work differences and issues out. The majority of children and teens of divorce believe that they are at least partially to blame for the divorce, and they carry that shame with them into their adulthood. So sad!
What are some things you may be carrying as shame in your life? Who and what has caused you to be weighed down? Was it truly your fault or did someone tell you it was to lessen the burden of guilt on them? Think long and hard. How do we handle it now, since it was so long ago? Well, help is on the way!
On Tuesday, September 29, Dr. Ben Cross, is my guest on Chained No More Talk Radio and he will be discussing, “Breaking the Chains of Personal Shame/Guilt”. You can listen LIVE at 2pm ET on www.toginet.com. You can also download the podcast, beginning later that day, at www.toginet.com/shows/chainednomore. Don’t miss it!!!
“Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful.”