Relationships can be complicated, to say the least, can’t they?! Things can be going well and then all of a sudden, there is a misunderstanding and the “push and pull” begins. There are misperceptions, words said or sometimes, there is complete isolation from each other. One day we are talking on the phone or having lunch together, and the next, it is like we never knew each other. Why is that???
Sometimes, we assume that the other person thought they are right and we were wrong, harsh words were said, or maybe someone had not been truthful. Assumptions…perceptions…gossip…bias….long term feuds, etc. When these challenges take hold, especially within a family, it can poison the minds of many more than the two initially involved. Friends and family members can take sides, spread this poison throughout the family and before we know it, there is a wide divisive gap in the family. Add to that holiday events, as well as weddings, funerals, birthdays or graduation celebrations and the divisiveness multiplies and makes these events uncomfortable to the point that people don’t attend. Ahhhh…family drama.
So, how do we begin to “mend the fences” and “close the gaps”? First of all, there must be a desire to find a resolution and not just prove one is right and the other is wrong. Both parties must be willing to sit down and peacefully and maturely discuss where the conflict began, listen with an open heart and work together to find a solution. It takes humility, a calm spirit, a heart of forgiveness, a resolve to “do what it takes” to work it out, and to see the value in “doing the work to make it work”.
“Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one misses the grace of God and no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” Hebrews 12:14,15
Is there a relationship that needs to be repaired in your life? Have you just given up and tried to “move on”, but you still long to reconcile with them? “Make EVERY effort” before it is too late.
STEP #1 – Ask the Lord to prepare the way to reconciliation
STEP #2 – Humbly make the first contact
STEP #3 – Determine in your mind that this isn’t about proving you are right, but in resolution and reconciliation.
STEP #4 – Allow God’s timing to work in this process. The longer you have been at odds, the longer it may take to heal the wounds.
Take the high road, be patient and keep the goal of reconciliation in front of you. It is worth the effort.
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins.” I Peter 4:8