Dealing With Anger


Anger is an emotion that can be easy to get into, but very hard to get out of.  It can build and build or it can catch us off guard.  You may have been raised around a lot of anger and you saw and felt the results of that.  You may also find that you are “just like your dad/mom” when it comes to anger and you want to change that pattern.  Many times, people will carry the pattern of anger from their childhood into their adult relationships because that is what they are familiar with and feel they deserve.

You may still be mad at one or both of your parents or others and you may have some very good reasons to be angry.  Being angry isn’t necessarily wrong, but what you do with it can be very wrong.  You may have lived that first hand and have seen many wrong ways to express anger.

For some of us, the grip of anger has held us for so long that it is almost like a “comfortable shoe” and we see no other way to look at things.  It can become the “filter” that we look through at almost everything.  It has clouded our thinking to the point that we almost define ourselves by it.   People may describe us by saying, “He/she is such a negative person.  They always see the glass as half empty.  They just have a big chip on their shoulder.  They are just not pleasant to be around.”

It is easy for others to say, “You need to get over it and move on.”  Easier said that done, right?  They just don’t understand you or what is deep inside of you.  Well, Jesus does and He is here to lovingly heal you so you can be free of the “grip of the chain”.  Now is the time to ask the Holy Spirit to shed light on the dark corners and unveil what you hide inside so you can find healing in Jesus Christ.

Maybe you are surrounded by angry people or people who express rage on a daily basis.  There may be a cloud of anger over your every day environment.  Somehow you got in that environment and you have seen yourself change into an angry person as well.

You may have many years of anger behind you that has never been resolved.  Years of abuse, hurt and negative input have brought you to this place.  Relationships are broken and the world looks like a hopeless place to be.

You may also be mad at God for letting this happen in your family or that you were abused in any way.  You may, however, never know why He allowed such pain to happen in your life, but please know that you can take that pain, grow from it and be free from the issues of it.  We have seen almost every participant of “Chained No More” go through the process of healing and their entire life has changed to a profoundly brighter place.  Praise God and all glory to Him!

Anger is a natural response to hurt, fear, disappointment or not getting our own way. Beneath the anger though, is mostly  hurt.  Unforgiveness in your heart can play a huge part in your anger as well.  We will explore that in later blogs.

What causes fights and quarrels among you?  Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?  YOU WANT SOMETHING, BUT DON’T GET IT.”  James 4:1-2a

Anger can be a good emotion because it can protect us and lets us know when we’ve been hurt or wronged.  It also allows us to stand up for ourselves.  What we do with it, however, can become the problem that escalates the situation.

For some of us, we are really good at hiding the anger we feel.  We put on a happy face and no one would ever know that inside, just under the surface, or even way down deep, there is a rage burning in us.

The Word of God is clear about anger, the effects of it and how He doesn’t want us to live in a world of anger where we hurt others.  It can be very understandable for some of us to be angry because of what we have lived or because of the examples we have seen, but it is never too late to evaluate the reason for our anger, the emotions behind it, the effects others’ anger have had on us, how our anger has affected others, and then reach out for healing.  If a much more peaceful life sounds good to you, find a pastor, counselor or therapist to help you walk through this process toward a much more joyous life.  You are worth it!